A few weeks ago I wrote a blog titled, “Sister, Cater to your man or someone else will.” This particular blog caused sort of stir. Many people had strong opinions about this blog which is great because we all have different perspectives on what makes a relationship strong. So this blog is for men and tips they can use to keep their relationship strong.
Women often want a fairy tale ending. We are ingrained with fairytale endings at such early ages. One of my favorite movies as a child was “Cinderella.” Til this day there have been several remakes of this movie as late as 2015 with Cate Blanchett. One thing I know is marriage is complicated. Men and women think and often communicate differently. In my fairytale my husband would take me to Paris on an extravagant shopping spree and fancy meal with wine. In his Fairytale getting a good run in the morning and coming home to a great brunch and watching football is heaven for him. Does this sound familiar to you.
Well guys listen up closely because it’s not complicated. The key is to try to put yourself in your spouse’s or girlfriends shoes and see love from her perspective, not yours. So fellas here we go.
The first thing you want to do is PAY ATTENTION to your wife. Women want to be heard and listened to in an attentive manner. So put away the stupid cell phone and IPAD. You want to make you wife’s heart melt. Say these six words, “Tell me about your day honey.” Talking to your wife—about work, children, the news—is an even better aphrodisiac. A University of Virginia study found that wives/girlfriends care most about how affectionate and understanding their significant others are. Being present and spending quality time together and discussing things she likes creates a bond that women equates with romance.
The second thing you want to do is COMPLIMENT your wife. Even if you think your wife already know how beautiful she is. TELL HER! I remember after I gave birth to my last child one day my husband came home. I felt unattractive, but he told me that I looked beautiful while holding our newborn son. It’s always lovely when your partner tell you those things. Women love no we love love love and need to hear compliments. “Tell her you love the way she smells,” or “I love the sound of your laughter.” The more the detail shows her that you derive pleasure from her body, not just from any naked body.
HOT DATES on a consistent basis. Fellas once you choose to get married you still should date your wife. Especially once children come into the picture. Having that one on one time to connect and enjoy each others company is pertinent. Dates can include many things. A romantic dinner, a picnic at the park, movie. It’s important to keep spontaneity. If you are on a budget, Google free things for couples in your area. Text your wife a sexy message while at work. Send flowers to her job or while she’s at home with the kids. Kissing is important. Never leave the house without giving your wife a kiss.
HELP CLEAN AND COOK. This is a big one. Most households have two working adults in the home. Gender roles have changed and many women are in the work force but also many women are making equal or more than their partner. When you get home instead of asking “What’s for dinner?” Which will only piss her the hell off. You cook. If you don’t know how get some help. You Tube or Google 20 minute meals. Ask a friend to recommend some recipes you can make and freeze for the week. If the house is not clean. Clean it up. Pick up after yourself. Wash the dishes or load the dishwasher. Hire a college student to clean the house if you can’t afford a housekeeper. If you don’t consistently contribute to the household, she will feel like she has to nag or, in other terms, be your mother. If you make your wife nag at you, she will began to despise you. It’s so annoying to have to constantly tell someone to do what they need to do all the time, and when she starts to view you like a child, you become less of a husband. That’s not attractive to any woman! Fellas we are not your mothers, we are your wives! Be an Adult. Be her equal. Do what you need to do in the house and don’t make her take on more than you. You are a team.
COMMUNICATION is key in any successful marriage. Lack of communication is often what leads to dissatisfaction in a marriage. BE HONEST and open with each other. Ask your wife questions and listen to her feedback. When she ask you questions be open and honest. If you struggle with honest communication seek help via counselor, life coach, pastor. Don’t allow problems or concerns to fester.
BE HER PROTECTOR now this may be a little controversial, but women don’t need protection in most cases, but that doesn’t mean your wife won’t like it if you do protect her. All women are instinctively are attracted to a man who can stand up for them and be their protector. Even if they don’t need it, the gesture is nice, and it is a very masculine quality that women find super sexy. You don’t have to save her from a bad guy. You just have to keep her from harm or injury. So, instead of letting her carry the heavy box, you do it to. Instead of letting her go first into a scary house, you do it. Don’t make her feel as though she has to protect you, and you will find that the feminine and masculine balance stays intact and you will both feel better about each other.
FINANCIAL STABILITY I debated myself about including this in the blog, but for me financial stability is important. I’m not saying you need to be a doctor or lawyer, but you need to work. The number one complaint I often hear from people I counsel in their relationships is about finances. Every couple has to choose what make sense for them financially. It’s important that finance is a part of that conversation and really ask yourself are you living up to your potential. If the answer is no what needs to shift. Do you require new training? Do you need to take money management classes? Where can you cut back so that you can really began to reach your financial goals? Financial stability really comes into play once children are in involved so make sure you are always in alignment when it comes to financial goals if not seek advice from a financial planner.
Last but not least the most important thing your wife needs from you is your abiding LOVE for her. Your wife needs to feel it, see it, and hear it. Be the Sun to your wife so that she can always feel the warmth of your shine. Always do what is right and help lead your family on the right path to happiness in this life.
Remember Happy Wife=Happy Life, or your Unhappy Wife May Tell You to Get Out Her Life!
Ms. Culture Keeper