A friend of mine got married a few months ago. During the conversation we had about her nuptials, I noticed something in her voice; there was no joy or excitement while she was telling me about getting married. At the time, I could tell she was not happy, but I chose to congratulate her anyhow. Why was she not happy, I did not know at the time, but I had my suspicions. I later found out through another source that her husband had an affair before they got married. The issue now is, despite what I or anyone may feel about it, my friend made a choice. She chose to move forward in marriage despite her reservations or in my opinion, not having fully forgiven her husband for his misdeed. My friend is not herself right now. She’s become isolated, angry, and dare I say bitter.
As I reflect on her situation, I know her anger is not just towards her husband. Pardon me while I put my hat on as a clinician…I believe a lot of her anger is actually towards herself. You see, my friend is smart, cute and brilliant, but I suspect she feels some sort of emptiness because she is not living life at her full potential. She has a job, but not a career she is passionate about. Marriage and infidelity is complicated. Your life partner can’t fulfill all of your passions that give you joy and value. I don’t understand why my friend chose not to go to college, she had opportunities. and wanted to go, but did not. I do not understand why she is not standing in her power. Thinking about her situation, made me think of my own life. There have been times I have not always stood in my own power and understood my purpose. My life is not always in alignment. I realize that things like unresolved anger, fear, and resentment can all lead to a life of misery and/or illness. How do you channel those emotions and don’t let it overtake your life because it can. All of these unresolved feelings can lead to alcoholism, overeating, depression, rage, etc.
Looking back over 2016, there are some feelings that I don’t want to continue to take with me. There are habits that I want to let go of to help me lead a more productive and fulfilled life. I don’t want to always turn to food when I feel overwhelmed. I want to exercise more patience with people. So I ask, what do you need to let go of? How do you begin to do that? Well, on this day 12/31/16, I want to let go of fear and hurt. Part of me letting is go is writing it and saying it out loud. I want to let in fearlessness and restraint. Letting go is hard. It is sad that those emotions often serve an unfilled need. If you have been struggling with your emotions, you may want to seek additional help with a pastor, therapist, or a good friend. In closing, I reached out to my friend and I have yet to hear back from her. I know I will eventually hear from her, but until I do, I pray that GOD allows her heart to heal. I pray that your heart heals as well. Let us walk out of 2016 letting go and walk into 2017 with a renewed spirit.
Ms. Culture Keeper-